Just Because
by feisu-chan
Summary: A drabble anthology of mindless fluff. Just because it feels so good to fall.
1. Prose

**Just Because**

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><p><em>A drabble anthology of mindless fluff. Just because it feels so good to fall.<em>

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><p><strong>I. Prose<strong>

Abarai Renji never, never did like to write about kidou and its applications to life and reviews of new Kidou chants. If he would write, it'd be about how the red silken hakama fluttered with the wind, or how such a little, gentle hand could turn into a hard ball when clenched, and that small tuft of black hair dancing across her face but never covering her purple eyes. And of course the high he got whenever he wield his sword and spar with classmates during practicum, because he's a man with blood boiling for a fight.

"Aaaaaaahhhh! Damn it!" Renji yelled in frustrated, crumpling a piece of paper and tossing it randomly.

"Baka! What's up with you?" It was the least expected moment to have her walk in from behind – whacking him with a book, this barbarian!

"Rukia! What are you doing here?" he asked. His shock, and that undeniable guilty redness patchily darkening his cheeks, made him forget the inflicted pain on his head.

"Why a violent reaction? I always come here in the library. What are _you _doing here?" she retorted. "You don't know this is a library, do you? Otherwise, you wouldn't be such an idiot rampaging about."

Kuchiki Rukia pulled out a chair and sat in front of him, opening the book mindlessly as she scrutinized his weird behaviors.

"You didn't do something bad, did you?" she asked, eyes squinting.

"No!" _This stupid girl always thinking the worse about me._

"Then why are you here?"

"I'm studying! I've got this make-up project for kidou, and it's due tomorrow."

"Kidou? What, are you still failing it?" To which made him wince. "Didn't I help you with the exam?"

"Well, I'm sorry if I'm dumb!"

"It's not that, you idiot!" And, another wince. "You're just overanalyzing it, you're forgetting the basic concepts."

"Oh yeah?" he smirked. Could he just be overanalyzing things? When she had that determined face on, was it an exaggeration if he smiled at her with so much pride? Or if she scrunched it in frustration, was it too much to want him to tuck her hair behind her ears and trace the wrinkles to make them go away?

Was he overthinking it when each time he'd say he'd have a mock mission with his classmates, she had that silent longing behind her cheery eyes telling him to do his best?

"Yes, you are overthinking things, Renji!"

"Eh? You can read minds now?" he asked, totally surprised.

"Tsk, stop saying useless things; what are you doing anyway?"

"Some essay about kidou."

"That's it? It's a giveaway. Then why're you freaking out about it?"

"Because I can't freakin' write about it!"

"Just finish it already. Then you can let me read it after you're done," she smiled again, with all the encouragement she could muster for him. And he thought it was the only thing he needed to do it.

"And? What's the catch?"

"Nothing! Just treat me to lunch tomorrow," she winked. Che! He always took her to lunch, but he never complained. Oh yes, he did tell her she ate too much and she's emptying his wallet, but he never really complained. Especially when it was only during lunch that he had her to himself.

And so he started writing. Of kidou and chants and spells, each of which were higher than its preceding number. And she flipped a page, while her face rested on her soft palms; and her littlest of fingers traced shapes and lines on her skin. Little by little, her eyes drooped, until her finger was now playing with her lashes. Sometimes, she did that unmindfully until she fell asleep.

Thus, he struggled to get a page done. With her in front of him, he wondered if she ever felt tense when they're together. He certainly was. But eventually, he was able to finish the whole thing. Renji reached out to wake her up, though she only nodded, prompting him to just read it aloud.

"I'm listening, Renji. Go on, go on."

"Fine." Reluctantly, he read the first paragraph, and then the next. "Oi, will you stop nodding to every word I'm saying. Are you even listening?"

"I'm not. And, yes I am. Continue."

He found it difficult to muffle a chuckle when her head kept slipping away from her hand, and tried to recompose herself by sitting up. Did she remember where she was right now? Heh! She looked funny, and innocent, and fragile. She made him want to keep her, protect her. Always.

In that moment, his lungs had stopped breathing, and his heart beat so loud it was deafening. And yet, a surge of adrenaline filled him, urging his courage. And no other moment was as fitting as this one. His eyes roamed from the paper to the figure before him. Maybe when he felt so good like this, nothing would go wrong.

"When did I start thinking about you so much?" he started, voice quivering. "It's tiring, and annoying! But you made all these uncertainties go solid, like how a shikai can be a zanpaktou – no, wait, it's the other way around. How the zanpaktou can turn into something…"

Yet he stopped, because he saw her eyes darted open as fast as shunpou.

"Renji…" he waited, "d-did you, did I fall asleep?"

"Aa." She breathed a long sigh of relief, but he didn't miss the rush of blood tainting her whole face.

"Good. I don't like it if you'd be blabbering like an idiot."

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><p>It was already dark when she woke up, and the library was almost empty. Renji was still in front of her, but this time, he's asleep. She beamed, then profusely blushed after remembering the dream. That Renji! She'd punch him if he'd be so inarticulate like that.<p>

She reached for the papers under his arm, and read the essay. It was surprisingly well-written! With zeal, she drew a grinning bunny beside his name, and wrote: "Dreams do come true, ne, Renji?"

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><p><strong>AN: **2nd installment of the drabble challenge with **Chemiskorpion0002**. This time, it's all about Rukia and Renji. And this time, angst will be nowhere in any picture! :3

I hope you liked my very first mindless fluff, though I didn't like it as much, but i'm hoping for that tranquil feeling... Just because the most senseless moments are what really matters the most...

Enjoy~ :3


	2. Finesse

**II. Finesse**

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><p><em>n. a highly developed state of perfection<em>

_v. to evade_

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><p>A month had past but nothing's changed. Not like it was expected of her to move on so soon, but she never got better. Who could, anyway, when your own hands split your lieutenant's heart in half and dyed your very hands with it? His face after her attack was all she could remember, and no matter how peaceful he had looked, it didn't help as she was dying in grief each day.<p>

Kuchiki Rukia walked the bustling streets of Seireitei; grim, lifeless. Staying at the headquarters was painful; the Kuchiki Manor was suffocating. For days, she wandered mindlessly around town and always ended up in places she couldn't remember. This time, she walked in on a dead-ended narrow alley and laid there for hours on end, contemplating on her actions. Wondering how else could she atone for Shiba Kaien's gruesome death.

The sky had gone black, and everything was dark except for the dim lights from the windows at the other end of the alley. But she never noticed the difference. She just laid there, not even aware that someone was talking to her.

"You're really fucked up this time, aren't you?" the voice said. Large arms pulled her up and carried her away. She was moving with her feet off the ground, and for the first time, her skin had felt something warm that seemed so foreign now.

She forced her head up to see who's moving her, "R-renji?" she asked, pessimistic he was real. They haven't had a word exchanged in years.

"Aa. I've only heard rumors, Rukia, but I guess you're in to something much worse." She just closed her eyes, and let him carry her.

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><p>Abarai Renji watched her sleep while he walked. She was covered in grimes and left-over food from having been lying down in that dump. He heard from his colleagues about Shiba Kaien's death. Although, he didn't really know the details about it, he deemed that Rukia was torn. For days, he had seen her at a loss, and sometimes he caught her in odd places just like tonight.<p>

However, it was only now that Renji mustered the courage to finally approach her. After all, she might need at least one soul to talk to. He decided to bring her to the Fifth Division's barracks instead of bringing her home to the Kuchiki's. With Rukia's state, she'd hate him for showing her up in such a messy condition. Tomorrow, he'd just have to explain it to his superiors.

He laid her against the tub on the floor, and quickly grabbed a wet towel to wipe her clean. Renji was positive that she's going through a lot, but, while asleep, none of those emotions were painted on her face – like she was stoic, numb. Unconsciously, he softly touched her cheeks and her temples trying to loosen those muscles that no longer know how to smile.

"Renji, I did something bad," she stirred, and her eyes opened to scan his face. She was still… cold.

"Tell me." He wrapped another towel around her. "I'm gonna wash your hair, Rukia, you kinda stink. Just, hold on to that towel so you won't get wet."

She stopped talking, instead Rukia watched him meticulously take care of her. He didn't push her to talk. They just stayed like that, silently. Only the soft gushes of liquid from the faucet. In that moment, she had felt the soothing whispers of the water as Renji untangled her hair with his fingers. And it's telling her she's alive.

And only then did her existence never felt like a sin. Only then did she feel that being alive was sweet, and warm, and she could stay like this until he'd get tired washing her hair. In that moment, she felt brave.

She took his hands away from her head and rested her cheeks on his palms, closing her eyes to feel his warmth. "Renji? Is it wrong for me to feel this good, at such a time?"

"R-rukia…."

"If I kiss you now, would you ask me to leave?" He was speechless; his eyes grew to fill his face. Neither did Rukia wait for answers. She shifted so that her lips were pressed so endearingly on his palm, and then on his fingers.

It was a sin to give in to such tenderness, amidst grief and penance. And she was sure she'd regret this in the morning, of which she'd add more years to atone…

He, too, knew the dangerous line they were about to cross, and one he would pay to the noble he wanted to defeat in time. Rukia continued occupying his arm, until she reached his neck and pulled him near. He didn't have time to stop her, as she quickly silenced him; nor did he have the strength to finesse. Could he skirt away from a face that had intrigued him for so long?

He knew he was taking advantage of her vulnerability; but upon tasting those lips he had lusted on, and her slender nape with drops of water trickling from her hair encouraged him to carry on, would he still want to stop?

This time, they resolved, guilty pleasures would command them. Tomorrow, let history judge them.

She drowned herself in his silent murmurs, and marveled at how finesse his calloused hands could be in melting her in her own skin. His lips had taken her to oblivion she never thought existed.

And only there did she wish herself to stay.

She buried her fingers, her face, her everything in every strand of his blood-tainted hair; she traced the markings that led to every part of him, hoping each time she did would eventually lead her to his heart.

It was clear to them that this wasn't borne from love, but of circumstances they both tried to evade. Finessing fate through finesse lovemaking. And yet, as the night grew deeper, they only wanted to stay like this, in a cycle of uncontested pleasure.

At dawn, however, she fled. As she did, Rukia prayed that their unresolved passion would be concluded in good time.

When their hearts could scream their names as they fall in love.


End file.
